A Little Over 4 Months Later I've been busy.  Sue me.  Anyway...My divorce was final July 8th, and a lot happened between that day and my last blog post.  For me, blogging is therapeutic.  Bug out now if you don't like it.My now ex-husband and I signed divorce papers on May 4th, and that's the last time I've seen him or heard his voice.  My son and I moved out of his house on April 27th.  My ex said we could live there until the divorce was final, but there's no way I would've made it that long.  I was laid off from my job on April 28th due to lack of work and my "current emotional state", as the HR lady put it.  Ryan and I exchanged many emails and texts during that time period - some nice, some awful.A couple of weeks after we moved out, I ran into a high school friend, who is a former co-worker and currently works with my ex-husband.  He told me many horrible things about the man I married.  I don't know how much of the stuff he told me is true, but it's sickening to think I was married to Ryan for as long as I was if these things really happened.  On top of that, the jerk stole the licence plate off my car!Bottom line is, I'm happy now.  Lonely, but happy.  Trey and I are living with my parents so I can save some money.  They bicker from time to time and play the TV WAY too loud, but things are good overall.  I'm so blessed to have them in my life, and I'm grateful they let us come back.Trey has adjusted to his new (old) school very well.  A few kids remembered him from the last time he went to school here, and welcomed him back.  People say kids are resilient, and they're right.  Trey has been my rock through all of this.  He hugged me and held my hand through panic attacks those first few days, and made me laugh & smile with his wicked sense of humor.  I, in turn, became stronger during those rare moments when Trey broke down.  When he was little I told him "You and I are like glue...we stick together", and that's true to this very day.  He never once blamed me for the divorce even though my ex told him it was all my fault.As for me, well...I've come a long way.  I now know I'm pretty, smart, and funny.  My ex never told me any of these things, but other men have recently.  I don't think they're lying to me.  One of the first things I did when I moved out of my ex's house was cut and lighten my hair.  He always wanted my hair to be long and dark.  Personally, I think I'm more me when I'm blonde.  I quit my job a couple of months ago and went to a job that pays more.  Not much more, but it's still more.  I'm doing physical work again, and I've slimmed down a little.  I feel better about myself and it shows.  I haven't had an ear infection since I moved out, and that's probably due to the fact my dad discovered black mold in my ex's house.  That stuff's nasty and can do a lot of harm.  I haven't had a "freak out fit of rage" since living at Mom & Dad's, either.  I went to the doctor and got some health problems taken care of.  My ex wouldn't let me go to the doctor unless I was in extreme pain. 

I'm not afraid of being in a relationship or even getting married again.  I would love that opportunity, but I'm going to be a lot more cautious.  I know more warning signs and red flags now, and I won't be afraid to bail out if I think I need to.  I don't think my expectations are too low, but I do think they're too high for the kind of men I usually seem to attract.  All I require are love, affection, and the occasional compliment.  Gifts for no reason are nice, but not necessary.  I'm a simple and practical kind of girl, but I'm a hopeless romantic as well.  I would love to be in a relationship where I'm swept off my feet but I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon.