Hearts and Candy and Flowers? Blech!

Yeah, it's that time of year again...Valentine's Day. This day has never been good to me - ever. My first appointment ever with a gynocologist was on Valentine's Day. Sheesh!

I'm in a committed relationship - therefore, I'm supposed to be happy on this day. Right? WRONG! My boyfriend is my opposite in pretty much every way imaginable. I'm the romantic one, full of ideas about how to make this "the bestest Valentine's Day ever". That's what I say every year. He has no understanding of the meaning of the word "romantic". His idea of going out for dinner is eating at the nearest Rally's or Burger King. And I usually pay for the food.

Then I take a look at the diamond ring on the third finger of my left hand. In usual circumstances, this would be considered an engagement ring. It looks like an engagement ring, but I have no idea what it is. I didn't get a marriage proposal with my ring. Let me tell you what he did...

We were at a Wal-Mart almost two weeks ago, and he pulled a ring box out of his pocket and tossed it to me. I barely caught it, because I wasn't expecting it. "There ya go", he said. I opened the box and put it on my finger. Honestly, I expected at least a "Will you marry me?". This is what I got instead: "What kind of cat food have you been buying lately"? Yeah, we were in the pet food aisle of a local Wal-Mart when I got my engagment ring. I think it's an engagement ring, because he didn't actually ask me to marry him. He's asked me in the past, but never with a ring. And now that he had a ring to give me, he didn't ask me. AAAAARGH!!!

What's a girl to do? Should I marry this man who is so insensitive to my romantic needs, or should I move on? I love my boyfriend, or fiance, or whatever he is...but I'm not in love with him. And I haven't been for a long time. I've been with this guy for the better part of 7 years, so I should know him very well. But I don't, because he keeps his feelings and emotions locked up inside and rarely lets them out. Our little joke is that I'm emotional enough for the both of us. He would rather stay at home all the time, and I'm always itching to get out of the house and do something fun. The one thing we have in common is Notre Dame football. Even though college football compatibility is important in a healthy relationship, it's not the most important thing.

I need a man who is intelligent, considerate, financially stable, ambitious, knows how to dress, has a great sense of humor, and yes...a man who is somewhat of a romantic. Not necessarily the sappy kind of romantic, but the kind who would by me flowers or a bunch of balloons for no reason except the fact that he loves having me in his life. I know I'm asking for a lot, but a girl can dream...can't she? Until the day my Mr. Right makes himself known to me, the two songs I'll be humming and singing are "When You Wish Upon a Star" and "Someday My Prince Will Come".

The Online Matchmaking Thing

Last night, I was online and bored. That's a sign something bad could happen. I was chatting with a friend in IM, and he mentioned he had signed up for one of those online matchmaking services. I started thinking, which is sometimes another bad thing. Personality profile? Compatability chart? Sign me up...as long as it's free. It sounded like fun, and I WAS bored...

45 minutes later, I'm still filling out the form for my free personality profile. This profile thing is making me look only slightly less boring and slightly more intelligent than a stick figure. I'm asking my online friends their opinions of me on certain things, and they're not answering me. This is looking VERY promising! (Lots of sarcasm on that last statement.)

Normally, I'm not so introspective. I know who I am and what I like...or do I? Most of my answers are "somewhat", because I'm afraid one extreme or the other might burn the wrong impression of me into some stranger's brain. Then it occurs to me...I'm taking this thing seriously. Maybe too seriously.

I mean, I've met people online and hit it off very well, but not so well once I met them face-to-face. Yet other people I've met online are just as nice and sweet in real life. Unfortunately, some of those meetings didn't lead to the result I would have liked, but that's another story.

I wasted almost and hour and 15 minutes filling out that survey, and I was quite disappointed when I saw I had no "matches" upon answering all of the questions I was asked. I ranted and raved about becoming the "crazy old cat lady down the street", then I went to bed. (Thanks for putting up with that - you know who you are!) I checked my e-mail when I got online a few minutes ago, and I had 7 matches! Not only did I now have matches, but 3 of them live in my state, and 2 of those guys live within an hour's drive of where I live! And 4 men want to open communications with me. Such a big change from no matches last night!

Now that my ego has been soothed and I've been told what kind of person I am, one question remains...Am I going to contact these men? Probably not. I still have a boyfriend, who is in the process of buying me an engagement ring. Does that mean my boyfriend will soon become my husband? Probably not anytime soon, if ever. But that's a story for a different time...

A Few Wild Weeks

It's been a while since I've updated this, but I've been really busy. Here it is in a nutshell: I decided to fly to Los Angeles for a long weekend. WHAT? That's right - small town me in the big city with people I only know from chat rooms and instant messages. Here's the longer (and much more interesting) version of the same story...

I think it was the middle of October when I decided I needed a vacation. I needed to get away, clear my head, have fun, etc...
I regularly chat with a few other Robotech fans, and most of them live on the West Coast. So I decided I would fly out for a party and the Los Angeles Science Fiction and Comic Convention. I talked with a couple of other Midwesterners who were going, then bought my plane tickets the first weekend in November. The countdown was on!

I conventiently neglected to tell my parents, because I thought they would blow up at me. And I was right! Thanksgiving weekend, my son told my parents I was going on a trip. They asked me where and why, and I answered honestly. My cell phone started going off about an hour after I left their house. My mother was afraid my plane would get hijacked or crash, and my father told me I would probably end up "like that Natalee Holloway girl down in Aruba". I reminded my parents that I was an adult and capable of making my own decisions. I know they were simply worried, but they really had me pissed off!

The morning of December 2, my boyfriend drove me to Indianapolis International Airport and watched me board a westbound plane. And that's when the real fun begins! My plane sat on the runway for an hour because the airline's navigational system was down - no flight plans could be seen. But I was soon on my way. I hadn't flown in approximately 13 years, so I was a little edgy when the plane took off. The first 3 hours of my flight weren't too bad - a few bumps here and there. But the bumps got bigger when we went over the Rocky Mountains. My airsick bag got filled up as well...

The weekend was UNBELIEVABLE! Friday night consisted of meeting the people I only knew from online, and hanging out with them until the wee hours of the morning. Did I mention that I didn't sleep at all Thursday night? I woke up for work around 3:30 a.m. Thursday, and didn't go back to sleep until about that same time (Indiana time) Saturday morning.

Saturday morning, I was awakened at 6:30 a.m. (L.A. time), so we could be at the campus of the University of Southern California in time to hopefully be seen on ESPN'S Gameday. I've been through the USC thing before, so I won't do it again. However, I did wear a Notre Dame pullover on campus - until I started getting weird looks and comments.

Saturday night was party time! Actually, the party started in the afternoon. It ended a little too early for me Saturday night. I drank quite a bit, and somebody was sweet enough to carry me to bed.

I recovered quite nicely for the convention Sunday afternoon. I met quite a few of the voice actors from ROBOTECH, got to hear Michael Bradley sing, and saw some more of the city when we left the Shrine. Dinner on Sunday night was very cool. We went to a sushi place called Kabuki, and I ate real sushi for the first time. Lots of sushi. And drank these things called Mojitos, which are now my favorite alcoholic drink. More good times shared by the ROBOTECH fans I was dining with.

Monday morning was the worst. I knew I had to come back to Indiana, but I wasn't done with Los Angeles just yet. I didn't have very much time there, so I didn't get to see everything I wanted to see. I mean, I saw what I went to see - but I didn't get to experience EVERYTHING I wanted to experience. I said my goodbyes quickly, because I could feel my eyes filling up with tears. I ate breakfast at the airport and called my mom (who was cool with my decision to go by that time), then boarded the plane that would bring me back home.

My plane flew over the Pacific Ocean for a few minutes before it turned east towards Indiana. I was in tears because the view was so beautiful, and because I missed the city and "Da Family" I now had living there. I made up my mind to return in July for another Anime convention - if I can wait that long to go back!

Here's to Azoric, Marshall, Lancer, Valkyrie, Razor, JasonC, ReflexPoint, Darkwater, Sktch, Memo, Black Beauty, McHenry, Mouse, Kevin, Steve, and Tom. I'm so sorry if I forgot anybody. There are still some things I don't remember about the weekend, but I've heard they were captured on video. Anyway...

All of you made my first trip to the West Coast a memorable and fun one, and I can't wait to come back in July! Thanks to everybody in my new "family"!

Gameday At My House

Let me start off by saying that I love to watch football. I'm a fan of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the University of Notre Dame Fightin' Irish. I even played Powder Puff football when I was in high school. Back to the fandom...
This past Saturday was a very important game for the Irish - the University of Southern California Trojans came a-calling. This was also an important game for me as a fan. Bragging rights come Monday morning at work, paying up on bets, things like that.
I am a very superstitious fan - I don't break my routine on gameday. I wear the same navy blue and gold ND lounge pants and white ND t-shirt every Saturday. I try not to eat while the game is on. I usually take a nap from halftime until the start of the 4th quarter. I play my ND fight song keychain every time the Irish score. I throw my "Irish Bad Call Brick" at the TV if I feel I need to, and I also throw my flag I made. My rituals usually work - except for the ND loss to Michigan State. I ordered pizza and ate it while the game was on. This weekend, however, was different...
I'll be one of the first to admit that USC is an awesome team. I just wanted ND to win the game, and I thought they had it won - until Leinart did his thing in the 4th quarter. I swear I almost had tears in my eyes. Then I realized that no other team this season has done that to USC, and I felt better. Even though it was a loss, it was still a good game by both teams. This Saturday is BYU - I think the Irish should get it done this time!
As for the Bucs, it's hard to be a fan of a Florida team here in Indiana. ESPECIALLY when their old coach is the Indianapolis Colts' latest coach! But I manage. I order apparel from a catalog, and I get game updates when I can - no way they're gonna show a Bucs game up here unless it's regional action!
That's enough football venting for a while...

Second Verse, Same As The First

Today sucked just as much as yesterday did. Once again, I wanted to go out and do something fun, and my plans were shot down. Courtesy of "Mr. Wonderful", my boyfriend of almost 7 years. We split up for about 6 months a couple of years ago, but we reconciled. More often than not, I find myself wondering why I came back in the first place.

He is my total opposite - he's quiet, likes to sit at home unless he's going to a high school football game, won't dance at a club, doesn't drink, etc...
I've heard that opposites attract, but I just don't see how. I have more in common with guys I chat with on the Internet than I have in common with somebody I've known for almost 8 years! I need to either get out of the relationship, or drag him to couples' therapy. And this guy says he wants to marry me!?!

Coming To Terms

I will be 30 years old this Sunday, and I am slowly coming to terms with that fact. I've been told that I still look like I'm 21, and I often feel like I'm 16! So why do I have this issue? I have no idea. When I was in my teens, I thought people over the age of 30 were out of touch with my generation. As I got into my 20's, I abandoned that idea a little more every year. I made friends that were already in their 30's, but my boyfriend's teenage sister still thought I was cool and often borrowed my clothes. I easily get along with people older than I am, and I often find people in their teens and early 20's to be quite annoying and immature. Of course, this is not the case with everybody. There are people my own age who are also quite annoying, and people younger than myself who are more mature than I am on a regular basis.
So what will I be doing on the last weekend I am in my 20's? Probably ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! My boyfriend of 7 years and his best friend are at a high school football game tonight. Neither one of them attended either school that is playing. They do this every weekend. Why? Neither one of them coach a team - not even a youth league team! Today at work, a group of people asked me to go to lunch with them - their treat, because they know my birthday is over the weekend when we won't be working. My response: "Thanks for the offer, but I can't because _______ is going to a football game tonight and I have to be home early". Later in the day, my boss and a few other people practically begged me to go out for drinks with them after work. Once again, my response was "Thanks, but no thanks", then I explained why I had to be home early. Tomorrow night, I will probably be sitting here at the keyboard. Chatting with friends, flirting via IM, etc...But that doesn't take the place of going out dancing, drinking, and overall having fun. Things that I love to do, but I really don't get the chance to do anymore. Oh well.
I guess I'll just stop wallowing in self-pity and think of the less fortunate people in the world - victims of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, abused women and children, sick and starving people in all four corners of the world. Then I'll remind myself that I'm glad I'm able to blow out that extra candle on my birthday cake on Sunday.

Here I Go...

I am now blogging, and I have no idea why I'm doing this! Maybe because I'm bored right now. I really don't have a life to speak of, so let me tell you a little bit about myself.

My name is Ann, and I'm 29 years old. I live in the state of Indiana, which is famous for two things - corn and really fast race cars. I'm the mother of a 7 year old son, who is the light of my life. I also have a boyfriend, but I'll talk about him later. I am also the owner of 3 cats and a dog.

My daily schedule goes something like this: go to work, come home from work, help my son with his homework, watch some TV, eat dinner, play around on my computer, then go to bed. Sometimes there is some craziness and drama, but not very often.

So why am I blogging? I think it's more of an outlet than anything else. It's a chance to share my thoughts and feelings with strangers who are totally unbiased. And it's a chance to do one of my absolute most favorite things in the world - write! My writing skills aren't the greatest in the world, and my use of the English language sometimes leaves a lot to be desired. I blame that on my rural upbringing. But I think I can get my point across.